I always have an extra smile on my face on January 22. Thirty seven years ago today, the Supreme Court made a decision that codified an obvious legal and moral right. The Roe v Wade decision made it a legal right of every woman to have a choice about what happens to her own body, to have decision-making authority over what happens to her own and her future children's lives, to have the option to bring another human being into her world - our world - and the option to not do so based on her morals, medical considerations, family needs, resources, and the dreams she has for herself and her future children.
Most people I know like to have choices in life. In fact, I know a particular toddler who loves to have choices! The word uttered most often in my house these days is "self". I embrace her desire to do things herself, to want to choose the milk or the juice, to get to choose kisses on her cheek or her knee. In our house, this is her right.
In her room she has a pink polka dot chair. This is her Safe Chair. When we are playing chase, she runs to it and says "safe". When we want her to get dressed and she has no desire to do so, she will run to her chair, knowing that we must follow our own rules and not touch or grab her when she is 'safe'. Does this become problematic and annoying and a time waster for us at times? You bet. But the lesson we are trying to teach her is that she can own some part of her personal space. Through this parental exercise, we hope to be building in her a foundation for learning how to come to the right decision on her own time and based on her own needs rather than be forced by impatient, must feel in charge parents. And guess what? The number of times she runs to her chair when it's truly inconvenient for us is far outpaced by the number of times we wrangle clothes on her day in and day out without a battle in the chair. And even when she does put her little self into her safe chair as we stand nearby dangling a new diaper and pair of pants from our arms, it's less than three minutes before she smiles, jumps up and says "I'm ready". I can live without those three minutes every once in awhile if my payback is a confident daughter who can make good decisions on her own.
I hope that the world outside our home allows her choices and protects her rights in life too. I am thankful she is living in a country in which she will have access to education. Many people of her gender do not have that right in our world. I am thankful that she can choose any religious or spiritual following without fear of persecution (well, to some extent). Other children in this world will never know that right.
I hope that she will always have the right to choose what she wants with her own personal space, her own body. My job isn't to make those choices for her. My job is to empower and enable her to make the right choices for herself and the world around her. Having a choice in life doesn't mean we always go for the least desired option.
And it’s my job, as a proud pro-choice American woman, to stand up for my rights, her rights, and every other human being with whom we share this planet. So today I toast the women who made January 22, 1973 a day of celebration and I repeat my promise to them to carry on the good fight!
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